What are the Physiological effects of a Panic attack?

Here’s an interesting fact for ya: Mental illness isn’t actually ‘all in yer head’ 

Now, I know its hard to believe, but hear me out. I wouldn’t blame anyone for thinking depression is just when someone’s like.. really sad. Or anxiety is when someone's like.. really scared. 

When I was first coming to terms with my panic and anxiety, I believed the above was the case. 

These severe, powerful attacks were just my silly over-active imagination making me scared and I’d just have to get the hell over it. But then it came to the point where I realised that ‘getting over it’ or training my brain to behave its self was just not. gonna. happen. 

One day during a whopper figary, while trying to calm me down, I was told what was happening at that moment in my body. Turns out there were hormones and actual reactions happening in my blood stream.. not just in my head.

Understanding what was happening in my body was an immense help to me. And in my opinion, of huge importance to anyone experiencing anxiety or panic, or those who wish to learn more about it. 

So what is a panic attack?

The dictionary tells us a panic attack is “a sudden overwhelming feeling of acute and disabling anxiety”

Physiologically speaking, panic is a sudden surge of adrenaline into the bloodstream. 

As I’ve written about previously, when we experience panic, our bodies go in to ‘fight or flight’ mode. Essentially a survival method used by our cave-dwelling ancestors, everyone has experienced this at some point. After something potentially life-threatening happens, (a near car accident, a bad fall, a rumour that your favourite celebrity couple has broken up) you need to act quickly in order to get yourself away from this impending danger. If a car was coming towards you on the road, you would act fast to move out of the way. After this you might notice your heart beating faster, perhaps you’re sweating and breathless. You can thank Fight or Flight mode for saving you’re life. 

   It’s called ‘Fight or Flight’ because its preparing you to fight the danger or flee the danger. During a panic attack, our brain becomes confused because this ‘danger’ is coming from inside us. We can’t run away from ourselves so our body gears up to fight rather than flee and we release the hormone adrenaline in to our bloodstream.

(Now this would be great of we were about to run a marathon or fight a bear but what if you’re standing in the middle of Tesco or sitting in class?)

  Our brains send messages to the ‘emergency wing’ of the sympathetic nervous system to release neurotransmitters and fuel to prepare our bodies for a fight. 

Some effects of panic attacks: 

Respiratory effects: Preparing for a fight means we need more oxygen than we normally would. Adrenaline causes hyperventilation which is the increase in the number of breaths per minute. This feels like choking, breathlessness or the inability to take a deep enough breath. This causes your chest to feel tight which can be painful. (In my case, people point out strange noises I make when I’m breathing)

Because of this rapid breathing, the blood supply to your head is reduced which can cause dizziness and confusion.

Muscular effects: If our ancestors needed to fight a dinosaur or we need to jump out of a burning building our muscles need to be instantly active. If this is happening often we feel restless and tense. One can also experience tension headaches or back strain along with many other muscular problems. 

Cardiovascular effects: Adrenaline forces the heart rate to speed up and pump more forcefully. The blood is redirected away from the limbs and toward the centre to the vital organs. The diameter of the smaller vessels become narrower and the larger ones widen. So if a caveman got bitten on the arm or foot, they would be less likely to bleed to death. 

Nowadays, it means your hands and feet may get very cold when your adrenaline is high. The lack of blood flow to the extremities and skin is why people look pale after a fright or bad news.

Others include:

Extreme fatigue

Suspended digestion

Excessive sweating

Nausea 

Hot/cold flushes

Numbness/tingling in the extremities 

Trembing/shaking

Depersonalisation 

It’s pretty amazing to think of all of the invisible reactions happening inside one’s body during a panic attack isn't it?

Pretty damn magic.

Minding Yourself this Christmas.

Hey hey hey hey I'm back with a tiny post! Missed you ;)

Christmas time really is the most wonderful time of the year. Family, friends, music, food, presents, food, prosecco, trees, food. Food. 

It can also be a very difficult time of year for some. Although I have seen numerous posts across social media regarding mental health this time of year (which is always great to see) I’ve decided to write a lil sum’n about it. * Please bear in mind this is all my personal views and experiences and it’s totally okay to disagree or have different views than me, infact I’d love to hear them!

I believe I’ve really found the key to what is so difficult about this time of year. There is a huge, undeniable pressure. Pressure to be happy, to see friends and family, to be joyous and comfortable being around people. Pressure to not let anyone see you down; to not ruin Christmas for other people by not being able to get out of bed or not being able to eat or not being up for singing Christmas songs and going to the pub, not being able to do ‘simple’ things that are expected of us at Christmas time. This immense pressure to be in brilliant form (because how could you not be!????!!!!1111!//??!11:) can lead to huge struggles with ones mental health. 

My advice to anyone who is going to be around someone that finds this time of year a bit difficult is:

-Remind them that it’s 100% absolutely okay not to feel okay.

-Have a relaxed attitude towards this time of year. Obviously you can be excited, but try not to throw too much high energy around them.

-Encourage them to join you in festivities!

-Try (And believe me, I know it’s hard) to not be angry with them. I promise, it’s not their fault. Something you could find easy someone else could find extremely hard. 

-Love them.  

And for those struggling this time of year themselves,  not just with Christmas, but with the pressure of being ‘good’ for the new year etc,

 I feel you.

 I’m with you. 

You are not alone and you have people that love you. 

Personally, Christmas is quite a strange time of year for me. I love it, I always have. But unfortunately I do feel this pressure. As soon as it gets close, the cold, clammy hands, the racing heart, the dizziness, the hunger everything comes in small doses. Even as I write this, my chest is sore to touch because my breathing has been so bad the past few weeks. But I’m focusing on the good. The ‘Most Wonderful Time Of the Year’ and the love. 2 years ago the pressure to be ‘okay’ on Christmas Day caused the worst panic attack I ever had. Because of this memory, Christmas does produce some anxiety and depressive thoughts for me.  But Once again, I choose to focus how far I’ve come since then. I try to put my energy in to something that matters; Fuck anxitey. ppffffttttttt.

My sister told me today while wrapping presents that her friends had asked her who she was proudest of. She told them she said her big sister because she was so strong and was able to push through difficult times. That’s what inspired me to write this. There are so many people who love you and are so proud of you, even if they don’t show it enough. You will get better believe me, if I can do it, you can. 

Take care of yourself. Mind yourself. Drink tea, no coffee. Don’t go mad with alcohol. Eat, lots. Stay warm. Sing and dance even if you don’t feel like it. Appreciate family and friends. Don’t go to that party if you’d rather stay in and watch a movie. 

ANYWHO thats all I have for this entry in to the soppiest blog in the history of time. Hoping you have a happy and safe Christmas, Holidays, New year, Whats ever you celebrate. 

Aoife x

Panic A-craics

HELLO!

This day last year I posted my first (and only) post on awaywiththefigaries 

I have been meaning to write (PROMISE!) but  every time I sat down to do so, nothing came out. "I have anxiety, it's shit. blah blah blah" 

I was so completely overwhelmed with the unexpected response that it got and I'm still getting emails and tweets about it which is so lovely! 

Thank you to everyone who liked, commented, shared and took the time to read my little blog. I'm so glad it had an impact on people.

 Sorry this is only going to be a short post, I will write more in the coming months but for now, heres a little catch up of whats been going on in my life the past year: 

Last January I was in a very very different pace than I am now. My anxiety and panic disorder was still at severe levels as well as the associated agoraphobia which effected everything such as school, social life and exams. 

As well as this, I had just started taking a small dose of medication*  and my body was in an awkward stage of getting used to it. 


To start medication was a last resort for me, I tried everything before considering medication. I looked at it as something only really sick, strange people would do. I was completely ignorant toward it. That’s because it’s not spoken about enough. I hadn’t realised how many people of my own age, younger and older were on medication to aid them with their mental health. It’s something thats usually whispered about, not openly discussed because of the way it is perceived by many.  I researched and learned more about medication, the type I would be having to take every day, the effects, etc.
I found this amazing post through tumblr about women tweeting Antidepressant selfies to fight mental health stigma : Kick- Ass women on Medication  
Being on medication was the right thing to do for my personal case; it may not be in other’s cases. 

*I in no way believe that medication is 'the answer' and I'm not recommending you take medication. Just because It has worked for me does not mean it will work for everyone. My case was particularly severe and my family and I did a huge amount of research before deciding anything, as well as getting multiple professional's advice. I respect people's opinions, but I'd rather not hear negative things regarding my choice to use medication.  

It's tempting to think that my success has been because of the medication, but I know that's not the case. It was my strength and the crazy amount of time and energy I put in to making myself me again. I finally feel attached to myself, grounded and I'm not scared to have fun anymore. It's like breaking out of a tiny little cell in to the real world; a bit over whelming but the most freeing, amazing feeling.


In March, I started integrating back in to school going for 1 lunch time here and there and finally a class. After this I was able to go to school for a few classes a day and take the school bus home; something I didn't think I would ever be able to do again at the start of last year.

I never made it in to school for a full day, but that didn't matter to me. I was able to go in for my irish oral with confidence and I could study a bit at home. 

I had already had myself convinced back in January that I wasn't going to be able to do my Leaving Cert and I had to come to terms with that. But when I started back in school I made it my goal to sit the Leaving Cert.(I know, who in there right mind would want to do that? But hey, I wasn’t in my right mind so LOL) And I did.With a huge amount of hard work and support, weekly visits to the psychologist, mediation and a huge amount of pushing through my anxiety (which was getting easier to cope with every day),  I sat every single one of those fuckers and ended up getting great results in each exam. (wat)   And I did it with no panic attacks, no huge amounts of anxiety. I had qualified for the Dare scheme which is a scheme in schools for the Leaving Cert for people physical or mental disabilities. This meant I had a room to myself with a lovely supervisor, which took some of the stress off.

Since then, my entire life has changed. 

I've been on planes, on holiday, done drama courses and done auditions and been cast in roles. My creativity has come back and I write all of the time. I'm in college now and I have a job teaching children drama.  
I genuinely can't remember the last time I had a panic attack. 

The last year was extremely challenging. I could not see an end to everything that was going on. 

Late 2014 and early 2015, I couldn't see a future for myself. I wouldn't have ever imagined I would be so healthy and happy this year. I learned so much about humans in general as well as myself last year. I have grown as a person, (not just my thighs but my heart too) and I learned to accept that life ain't always peachy, but because of the journey I went to, I now appreciate my life so so much more than i ever thought possible. I suppose I'm writing this so anyone going through anything similar to what I was going through knows that no matter how unbelievably bad things seem, they can get so so so much better. I promise.  (More to come soon!) 

                                      Away with the Figaries. 

             Definition of Figary: Irish slang for a whim or mad notion about something or to do something really stupid 

I thought of all the ways that I  could write this to make myself  sound really knowledgeable; I'd use big words and blow your minds with amazing facts about mental illness. I would prove that I am the master of my own mind, that nothing can destroy me. That I am stronger than anyone else you know. 

Screw that. Thats not me at all. So instead I'm taking a different approach to appeal to the youth. GIFS AND INAPPROPRIATE HUMOUR YAAAAAYYY!!!! I'd also like to take this opportunity to say I  don't own any of these gifs or pictures and please don't arrest me 

Its taken me just over a year to write this. I've started and stopped. I've worried people will think I'm writing to get you to feel sorry for me; that  I'm an "attention seeker",  Ive broken down and decided theres no way i could write about something when just thinking about the word itself makes me uneasy.  Usually, when I'm trying to explain it to people, I give them this huge, passionate monologue while they sit there kinda uncomfortable and not knowing how to react… 

But now i want to help people understand. I need to do this.

So here it is. 

ANXIETY

when I see any form of that word written, in any context, lets say in a book or in the newspaper,maybe  some 13 year old idiot on twitter "That episode of PLL  gave me literal  anxiety omg" it automatically gives me this feeling in my chest; heaviness. 

"It's only a test, don't have a PANIC ATTACK over it" WOOP  there it is once again that feeling. I've learned thats called "Triggering"  I can hear a word or see something and it can trigger my brain in to maximum HOLY SHIT, THIS IS IT THE TIME HAS COME, I'M GOING TO DIE mode.

and as funny or stupid as that sounds, its the best way I can describe it. When I start to get anxious, I  can't focus on anything else. Not what the teacher is saying, not what my friends are doing, I can't even concentrate on breathing. 

I am floating. Im not even in my body any more, I can't feel ANYTHING. My hands are the first to go, freezing to the point where i can't feel them, the same with my toes and feet; legs are like jelly.

 Then the cold sweat where, I am so cold, but my body is over heating. I used to hit myself in the face to try get myself back to reality; to feel SOMETHING. My neck, face and arms would have scratches from where i would dig my nails in to try bring myself back, to keep myself from going over the edge. But nah. Its no where near that easy.

And then, if its a particularly shitty day, ill end up having a panic attack. I don't know the best way to describe these bastards so I'm quoting from a book "When Panic attacks" By Áine Tubridy. (10/10 would recommend)

 "Broadly speaking, a panic attack is an extreme fear response which occurs when a person is convinced they are in extreme danger; although no real danger exists. Physiologically, panic is a sudden surge of adrenaline in to the bloodstream. Once set in motion, the surge of adrenaline molecules known as the fight or flight response, rises to crescendo and slowly dissipates." 

This reflex is vital for dealing with danger, equipping us to fight like an absolute beast, or leg it like and olympic sprinter. The tight lungs, pounding heart, extremely tense muscles  and hairs standing up on the back of the neck make us aware that our life is on the line. Basically, if I lived in the jungle or I was a cavewoman Id be absolutely sorted. But alas, I'm an 18 year old girl who has her feckin Leaving Cert  to do.  


A panic attack in my opinion, is the worst feeling i've ever experienced. They used to be spread out. Maybe 3 or 4 a year. But since October of this year, I've had so many I've lost count. All joking aside, I've felt like I was going to die more times than I can count in the past 3 months. And I'm so anxious (A+ word use amirght?) when I think about all the people, but especially teenagers (as i am one) who are suffering from anxiety and panic disorder who don't have the same support that I am lucky enough to have. Because I myself felt like I  was the only person to ever feel this way BUT THEN I LEARNED THAT MENTAL ILLNESS  IS  SO SO COMMON. WHY DIDNT I KNOW THIS??WHY DONT WE LEARN MORE ABOUT THEM IN SCHOOL???? THE MAJORITY OF THE PEOPLE I FOLLOW  ON TUMBLR ARE ON SOME SORT OF MEDICATION FOR ANXIETY OR PANIC OR EATING DISORDERS ETC GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER, EDUCATION SYSTEM.

It's almost as if people are ashamed of talking about it. I think thats because its hard to understand. I used to get annoyed at a relative of mine who suffers from depression. I used to think to myself "Jesus just get out of bed and go to the gym or for a walk or at least come over for dinner JUST DO SOMETHING AND STOP FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF"

Little did i know. 

So I  don't blame the friends who don't really speak to me anymore, or who blame me for things, who think I over-react. Who think I 'put it on', 'Do it for attention' ,cause thats how I used to think as well. I just really really hope you can at least try to understand if you don't. 

Anyway enough of that, time to write what this whole thing is actually about. I want to share with anyone reading this 13 things I've learned from having Figaries.

(make sure to take these with a pinch of easiersaidthandone and practisemakesperfect)

1.Try new things.

 I started acupuncture because my mom basically forced me to. It was my very last option. I wasn't only sceptical, but 100% terrified of needles. Like absolutely terrified. It ended up  changed my life completely. 

Joan Connolly helps me in ways I can't explain

2.Belive you can do more than you think. 

Last year, I went on a European Tour with my class in school. I was shitting myself about it but I went and had the best time of my life. I didn't use any medication the entire time I was away, and the whole experience made me so much more confident.

(  *Side note: Obviously if you're not in a suitable health to fly/travel  at the moment then don't feel bad, I had to cancel a trip to america recently) which brings me to:

3.If its not meant to be, its not meant to be.

 If things don't go your way, IT'S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD. AND IT IS ABSOLUTELY NOT YOUR FAULT.  I spent ages feeling upset guilty over my canceled trip, an awful Christmas, and having multiple panic attacks on my 18th birthday. But I know once things start looking up, I'm gonna travel SO MUCH and have AMAZING christmases and hopefully I'll live till I'm like 100 so loads of birthdays to look forward to. 

4. Reward yourself. 

Make a list of the things you have done that you are proud of. It could be as simple as 'I made the best sandwich of all time.' And then stare at your list and drown in proudness.

 If you really can't think of anything, then make a list of things you could do to be proud of yourself, like starting a conversation with someone, and endeavour to complete that little tasks on your list.  Im starting to realise that every time I get through a panic attack or a burst of anxiety,  It's a triumph. I survived, I didn't die, IM STILL HERE. I recently got through a traumatic injury without having a panic attack and I can't explain how proud I will forever be of that. And I have a nice, fat scar to remind me how strong I was that day.  So well done, self. You're awesome, self. You go, self. 

5.Self love, baby. 

Simple: LOVE yourself.  I hated myself for so long, and only now I'm realising that its okay to love yourself. Its not conceited or anything like that. Its wonderful! Don't be hard on yourself if you need to miss school or take a day off study or have to cancel on a friend. This is about YOU.  Take your sweet damn time. Don't be ashamed. REMEMBER: 1 IN 4 PEOPLE WILL EXPERIENCE SOME FORM OF MENTAL HEALTH PROBLEM IN THE COURSE OF A YEAR.

screw any one who tries to bring you down. 

6.Practise Mindfulness. 

This may not be everyones CUPPA TAE, but honestly, the facts are there. It works. If you find meditating hard or boring or think it has no effect, I recommend a FREE app called Headspace Its really amazing and helps me everyday. Its user-friendly and really simple. oh and it works.

7.Self care is so important.

 I recommend filling a basin up with warm water, maybe adding some essential oils or even bubble bath and soaking your feet for a while, then popping on some fluffy socks.  Making an effort with your appearance can also help with lifting your mood. Even if you're not going anywhere, mess around with some makeup or dress up and if thats not your thing, wash your hair and put on a pair of jeans for gods sake. *always remember matching pants and bra makes you feel like a goddess.

8.Be mindful of what you're eating.

 I found that refined sugar, caffeine and alcohol can actually stimulate my anxiety, so I have been doing my best to stay away from these foods. If you are eating well, you're going to feel much better. Its actually easier than you'd think. I can still have tea ad really thats all that matters I recommend a book called 'The Extra Virgin Kitchen' By Susan Jane White. 

9.You have more support than you think. 

I am lucky enough to have an extremely supportive family, and a great relationship with my parents, but I know thats certainly not the case for a lot of people around my age. Talk to friends. A family member. Theres always going to be people who will support you. Personally when I'm going through a rough patch, I don't like to have the pressure of being around people much, so even if its a texting or fb convo, friends can make you smile and forget about things for a while. . (even if you don't think they will. Trust me.)

10.Educate yourself. (and others!)

 Even if you don't suffer with anything, someone close to you more than likely will be going through a rough patch. When Panic Attacks By Áine Tubridy is a great read. And I found it so very helpful. I learned a lot for example: I am in fact, not going mad. So theres a relief. If not for yourself, buy it for someone you know may need some help with learning about panic attacks/ Anxiety.

11.Be patient. 

Im still trying to grasp this fully…… I'm quite an impatient person, but thats something that I've been working on.

12.Learn from your experiences. 

 I have a few great quotes  that have really helped over the last few years to explain this. 

"If you're going through hell, keep going" This may mean different things to different people, but it makes me feel strong. Im eventually going to get out of this. I just have to keep pushing through, theres no going back now. 

"If you live through defeat, you're not defeated. If you are beaten but acquire wisdom, you have won. Lose yourself to improve yourself. Only when we shed all self-definition do we find who we really are."  This one speaks for its self. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. Having Anxiety has taught me that I am strong.  It's helped me realise who I am as a person, and has helped me sympathise and understand others. It has taught me not to judge others, ANYONE around you could be suffering.  It's grounded me. I'll be grounded for the rest of my life. Its such a human thing; to have anxiety.

13.Push yourself. But don't push yourself over the edge. 

 Do things, Get out. This is going to be different for everyone. Right now 'Pushing myself" is going for a walk with the dogs, or going for a drive to the book shop, or testing out guitars in the music shop. And thats on good days. I can't spend more than 2 hours outside of my house before I feel exhausted  from holding down my anxiety. But I feel a sense of accomplishment every time I come home from being out. 

I'm still on my journey I've learned so much and I'm still learning. And I'm hoping to keep this blog updated on my experiences, more things I've learned etc. 

And to the people who are having a hard time at the moment, I just want you to know that you are not alone. That there are so many people going through what you're going through with you. And I hope you can be as strong as you possibly can. Aoife Xx

Ps: I did this in 2 hours so I  probably have so many typos sorry watchagondo

Helpful Links 
http://www.joanconnolly.com

http://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/help-information/mental-health-statistics/anxiety-statistics/

http://www.ted.com/search?q=mental+health

http://yourmentalhealth.ie

https://www.headspace.com

hehe

 My email address: aoifeamorrison@gmail.com